It has been such a great few days! I enjoyed time with my niece, Justin's girlfriend, my brother and kids, and on Saturday we had a BBQ with my brother-in-law and his family. After that, we all went and watched/listened to a Beatles tribute band outdoors. It was a busy week/weekend but so much fun for sure!
Now onto getting stuff off my chest. This may be long because I have copied and pasted a few emails that I need to share so there is a better understanding as to why I've made the changes that I have.
As many know, I have not had the greatest relationship with my mom (I use that word loosely). Well, I have tried hard to make it work by just keeping her at arm length and going by what is comfortable for me as far as how much communication goes. Since our Yellowstone trip, it has been rough, to say the least. Well, around September things went south fast. Stuff happened with her, she got evil with emails because she jumped to conclusions and even after telling her how she jumped to conclusions, she still got mad and was just plain mean. This went on for months so I finally told her that I don't need this kind of evil in my life and need a break from it all. It's not fair to my family or to myself. She finally said okay and she will give me space and I thanked her for that. Well I have sent holiday cards to her and an Anniversary card, so I have not taken her out of my life completely and have done just what I said I would do. She was fine with all of that. My graduation was coming up so hubby sent out the invites to family. Vickie (my "mom") was the first to reply, and she was declining the invite. Now get this, she was declining because a cousin of her husband, who he hasn't seen in 15 years was coming into town that weekend (which means a total stranger to her)! I couldn't believe that she was ditching her own daughter for a complete stranger. I am the only one in the family to get a degree and this was her moment as a mother to make things right again with her daughter. My day came and went without a single text, call, or card from her. A few weekends ago I received this email from her:
I am writing this in hopes that you read it.
You have me totally confused about what you want from me! You said that you only want a casual relationship. I have given you that and nothing has happened.
What I want is for us to stop blaming each other for every thing and get back to being together. I can't see my life without you in it. I have had a hard time giving you your space that you asked for. I just want to get us back to the good times. I miss holding you and shopping, and everything else we have done together. It's time to stop all this and just love and care about each other. I will call your cell number on Friday June 4th at 10am. This will give you time to think about whether or not you want me back in your life. No matter what you decide I will always love you. It's up to you now, If you don't answer then I will know your not ready to put things aside.
I was quite surprised by this email, but happy to see it was actually a nice one. So, I wrote back right away, and this is what I wrote:
That was a very kind letter, and I thank you for that. I'm surprised by it, however. I did reach out, on one of the most important moments in my life, and you chose to spend your day with a complete stranger. That hurt, for a moment... I did get the message loud and clear though. So you see, though your letter was kind, I do not understand your confusion. Seems pretty clear-cut to me.
And this is what came back:
I have tried to make amends with you! We will never get anywhere as long as you continue on this path. You will NEVER hear from me again. I will leave you along as you obviously want.This is not the way I wanted it to go but, as always have it your way! Have a nice life! Please don't write back!
Nice huh? I will say that these are nicer then the past ones were, but this was the last straw. I was happy every day until I got this from her. When she is out of the picture, life is just better for me. She was the only negative element in my life for many years as you may remember and I have finally had enough and I'm done. I don't miss her, I don't feel guilty, and I do feel free. Her whole family is on my side, even my grandpa. They all know how she is and feel the same way about her, so I know without a doubt that I have made the right decision with this.
Thanks for letting me get that off my chest, and now you know :)