Thursday, June 24, 2010

Ups and downs in the emotion department

What a week this has been!

~Happy~  My brother-in-law from New York came Saturday and stayed with us this week, and left last night.  The whole week was great!  Lots of family get-togethers and then a few days where it was just him and I.  We talked about pretty much everything!  In fact, yesterday I said that to him, that we pretty much covered every topic, from growing up to the present.  He thought about it, then said "we sure did...you're easy to talk to"  That made me feel good :)  I can't wait 'till we go to New York and stay with him and his family, or they come here again.

~Sad~  Tomorrow my baby moves out.  Yep, Justin and his girlfriend are moving in together and I am feeling a few different emotions right now.  I'm excited for them and know this is what we raise our kids to do...be independent adults.  I'm also feeling sad and not sure how I'm going to react when I see his empty room this weekend.  I'm sure I'll cry, but after that I don't know what to expect.  Justin is my baby and can't imagine not being able to see him daily and know what he's up to.  He's pulled away from me in the past few weeks and I think it's his way of being able to make this move easier for him too.  I understand, even though it kinda hurts too.  Thank goodness we all love his girlfriend and she loves us too.  I know we will see them often, and that helps.  I'm just the type who doesn't like the unknown, and this is one of those times.  We shall see...

~in-between~  Grandpa went into the hospital a few days ago and is still there.  His colitis acted up again and he started bleeding a lot.  They did give him two pints of blood to make up for the blood he lost and may give him another today.  He's doing good and I've been talking to him every day and making him laugh, which makes me laugh.  My Aunt Judy (the one who is having the same problems with my "mom") has made peace with her and grandpa said to me, "now I'm just waiting for one of my other girls to do the same" I told him I know.  I want to make him happy, but don't want her in my life.  I also found out that she told my brother to let her know when I go to the hospital that way she won't be there.  I don't know how to take that but I'm glad I don't have to worry about seeing her.  When I go, I won't tell him, but I will text her myself.  I don't want to put anyone in the middle of our crap.  She also told my aunt that her counselor told her that I need to take some blame for what is going on between us and grandpa even couldn't figure out what I need to take responsibility for.  The funny thing is, I know darn well that she is seeing no one and only using that to make herself sound better.  She has done that before and when I told her that I would be more then happy to go with her and we can hash it all out there, she never replied back about it.  This time is no different and it makes me laugh.  As the kids say, "whatever" ;)

Well, that is what's going on here.  Another change in the life of ME

2 comments:

Brit-Man said...

She might have said that, because at the very least, having ructions at the hospital wasn't in her agenda.

You have nothing to reproach yourself for and nothing to feel any negativity for at all. You have been someone that has never stopped being a light in peoples lives. Some people don't see that and that's their problem.

You just need to remember not to forget about the positive things in your life and the fact that you are the person you are.

You're a wonderful person Colette, so keep being good to yourself and no worries okay

:-) :-).

Matt

hayleycepeda said...

It's really great that you can put all this out there and I'm so sorry you're going through so much right now. I have no doubt that Justin loves you very much and is going to miss you as much as you'll miss him. I'm sure he's distancing himself to make it easier, even if it doesn't feel that way. How far away will he be? Can you still see him on a regular basis?

I'm sorry also to hear about your Grandpa, but it sounds as though he's doing fairly well. I don't know your mom or your exact situation so I can't tell you what to do, but at least it sounds as though you're taking a mature position about it all.

You're in my thoughts Colette! Hang in there...xoxo