Wednesday, September 8, 2010

This and That

I had such a nice weekend!  Friday I met my sister-in-law for lunch (ate a yummy turkey sandwich on sourdough no mayo) and had a very nice visit.  That night it was just hubby and I and we went out to Pluto's for a nice salad, walked the mall, went back and enjoyed the night.  Saturday was family day, Sunday went to my brother-in-laws for a very yummy dinner that my niece cooked and enjoyed a great night with family (had a slice of pie and some of my naughty chocolate trifle that I made), then Monday it was running errands and doing chores for the whole family.  Yep, it was a wonderful weekend! 

I have still been working out in some form (not yesterday though) and feeling okay.  It's that time of the month, so no surprise about the feeling heavy and wanting to snack more.  I'm doing good with the snacking (did have a bowl of Life cereal last night though) but it is hard to resist...but I am stronger ;)

There is going to be this huge high school football game this Friday...our school vs the rival school.  This is so huge that yesterday the schools only sold tickets to the students, one per student.  What was left will be sold today for the general public.  Doors opened at 7:15am...I got there at 7:25am and the line was full of students and parents.  I was the next one in line when they said "sold out"!!!  Crap!  I quickly got in my car and drove to the other high school in hopes of getting two problem!  They had a huge-ass roll left (the game is held at their school, and they only gave our school about two thousand tickets to sell) so I am happy to say that we will be going to the game!!  Looks like another great weekend coming up :)


I have got to vent a moment.  Justin text me today saying he failed the test once again.  He is feeling self-pitty and saying he's quiting.  Hubby has offered over and over to help him study, even said he'd help every day when he got home from work, and hubby is one who has studied for hours and hours each and every day while in school...which Justin has witnessed first hand.  Not once did Justin come for help, and he was her a lot this week.  I know he did not put in the time needed to pass the test, yet he is saying he did.  He is lying to himself, knows it, so is feeling sorry for himself.  I don't know what to do with him and as a parent, the hardest thing to watch is your child falling/failing  It's hard and so damn frustrating! 


Maggie said...

Glad you had a wonderful weekend with the family.

I so remember the rival teams. I miss that part of school football. I had such a hard time most yrs getting tickets, that I finally got season tickets. Just so I won't have to stand in line and hope to get a ticket EVER again. lol

About Justin. I'm so with you on this. James did the same thing. We offered numerous times to help him study, and he never took us up on it. We would always get, I'm doing fine. Then bam grades come in and it wasn't good. He claim the same thing, that he studied really hard and don't understand blah blah. I know better. Xbox got more time than his books. This is when he lived on his own, so I wasn't able to check on him, but, knew he wasn't studying. I called him out on it. Told him straight up, if he wants to lie to himself go right ahead. But, he knows as well as I know, there was little studying going on. Hence the grades. He ended up dropping out of college his 1st semester. Yeah, and we wont be paying for anymore.

If he wants back in, he has to pay for 1 semester to prove himself. That hasn't happen yet.

So my advice, tell Justin,you can do it again and study real hard and except the help... Or get a job he doesn't like for xamount of hrs that he'll hate and making shitty money. Its a no brainier!! Either way, its up to him.

Brit-Man said...


Your son is at some point going to have to face the fact that he either can or can't do this.

If he can, then he needs to believe that he can and he needs to start being more honest about it.

There is potentially nothing you can do to make his mind up for him. He certainly can't be given the third degree over and over again and he can't be mollie coddled either and have you sitting there while he does what he does, to try and prove he does it.

He needs to realise what's at stake here. He could be doing things in the future that make him some sort of hero, because this isn't like taking some sort of accounting course than quitting, because you can't stand the site of numbers any more, this is something he is doing that is very real and has great potential to help and save peoples lives.

He could possibly be made to feel that if he quits and fails, he will be letting down a lot of people that might have been able to depend on him in the future.

People who's lives could have been improved by his actions. He could hear of things and see things that change peoples lives, knowing he could have been someone that helped but he wasn't able.

He could be made to see what a difference he could make to his own family, in a crisis and how he wouldn't be able to do much, if he quit and gave in at the first few hurdles.

This isn't shock tactics, but it's helping him to see the wider outlook for his necessary dedication and the wider implications if he chooses to employ negative actions in this situation.

This unfortunately can't be one of those you're throwing your life away, sit-downs, because he's too old for that.

If he had just left school and started turning into a pessmisitic bum, than maybe, but he's beyond that stage now.

So whether he does it, or you gently plant the seed in his head, he needs to be aware of what he won't be able to do if he gives up.

He needs to understand what worth and value, his intentions highlight in him as a person and what worth and value as a person, his future abilities would give him.

Perhaps you could also make him feel as if he did back out of an important decision, it would look a little like cowardice. Saying he wanted to be that sort of dynamic person, then acting like he's not capable. A brief show of heart and courage then a retraction of that heart and courage.

One way or another, he'll realise that he is embarking on something very important and very proactive, so it's not something to endeavour upon lightly.

You'll get there in your own unique way. It's hard when people don't do what you think is best for them, but sometimes you will either have to be patient, or accept they won't change, depending on the circumstances.

In regards to you, WELL DONE on being consistent with your own actions. You're doing great and you're doing really well to keep on top of your own wellbeing, so chin up and keep pushing.

You're a really, really stellar parent Colette. Don't umnderestimate yourself, but don't overstretch either, because you might not necessarily be able to change, what may be happening in your sons life.

Good luck and best wishes.

:-) :-).


Maggie said...

wow what great words Brit, right to the point and certainly something Justin or any child should hear/think about when growing up period.

Colette said...

Thank you both for such great words of wisdom and some reality too. I appriciate all the advice I can get and coming from you both, it's always great stuff :)