Friday, October 22, 2010

Being Gay

I have been wanting to write about this subject for awhile now, but haven't had the time.  After all the news media coverage about the teens/young adults who committed suicide because they were teased or outed by their peers, I've been caught up in the web site, and the "it get better project". 

I have never been one to judge someone of their sexual preference, nor will I ever do so.  I believe that being gay is NOT a choice or lifestyle, but something we are born with.  I justify this belief with the simple fact that when I was young, I never in my head thought about if I liked boys or girls...liking boys was not a thought, but an instinct of what I was attracted to.  I also believe that there is NO way a person would choose to live a homosexual lifestyle with so much hate and violence towards that way of living.  I believe, and was taught in college that either to much testosterone or estrogen was released into the fetus at a certain point in development, therefor the brain is altered one way or the other.  That is why you have guys who are more feminine then females, and some woman who are more masculine than some guys.  Of course I am not talking about the college students who think it's just cool to explore with the same sex or the such.

I can not understand parents who turn their backs on their child when finding out the truth, or family members who do the same.  Shame on them!  Family is the one place where we are to feel safe, not ashamed of!  I believe that these poor kids/young adults who ended their life, was not only because of the situation at school, but that was the breaking point for sure.  I believe if these people had support by their family and friends, any other outside teasing would not make them end their life...they would be stronger inside and know that negative people don't matter.  Don't blame the kids who teased entirely...there is much more to it and parents/family need to be held accountable for their child's/family members misery.

Where Ashley goes to school, there are three guys who are out and proud and I think it's great!  One of the guys others don't care for, but not because he's's because he's so annoying LOL
Ashley's boyfriend just came over and talked about how some of his friends were adding up who is gay at their school.  Some are "out" but others are just guesses.  I asked him if it matters that they are gay, and he said no, as long as they keep their hands to themselves and not stare like they want me LOL  I get that.  I just wonder if the ones who are "out" and very much okay with being true to themselves is because of a strong bond with the parents and family...the ones who are not "out", is it because they know they will be severely judged by the ones who are closest to them?  That saddens me.  Parents can be so blind (by choice I'm sure).  There are kids who are so obviously gay, but are not "out"...these are the kids who need to know that it is okay and they will still be loved.  Maybe it has something to do with the church...which is a whole different sore spot to me!

Shame on those who turn their backs on family/loved ones because they are gay, lesbian, transsexual, transgender, etc.  That is not the christian way and it sure as hell not what a family is about.  Family is the place were we are safest, loved for who we are, never judged.  You don't have to like the situation, or be comfortable with it, but you should still be there, loving that person.
~enough said


Hayley said...

I am literally watching another story on the news right now about a boy that took his own life after being bullied for being gay. I am so sad and tired of hearing about these stories...what is wrong with our society today?! I am in full agreement with you that I don't think being gay is a choice. Who CARES whether someone is in love with a man or woman - so long as they are happy and have found someone to share their life with why is it of any concern to mine? Shouldn't we be more accepting of others by now? We're in the 21st century and some people still act like we're living in the 1800s.

I'm so glad you spoke out about make some great points.

Brit-Man said...

The only thing I can say is, is that anyone who rejects their own children, or people who take offense at others, just because of their attraction to people of the same sex, are purely and simply pathetic people and invertebrate with it.

They need to look at themselves and realise, THEY are the ones who are not normal and THEY are the ones who are WRONG!!!!!!

They could argue the opposite, but they would be wrong to do so, 10,000%.

It's about time some people get their heads out of their arses and embraced the 21st century and see the real wrongs in this world, instead of inventing wrongs that don't exist.

Enough said on that.

You cna be very, very proud of your progeessive attitude to the world Colette. I have never doubted your attitude to decent people, because someone like you is a very warm and caring person adn you DO have a beautiful personality.

Take care and best wishes.

:-) :-).


Maggie said...

Great post C. I have been thinking a lot about this subject. I see it being posted quite a bit on fb, the movement
to stop gay bullying and suicide.

Although I totally agree on all points about this subject.

I would like to add, that I think the movement should be to stop "teen" suicide period.
Not just limited to being "gay."

The whole bullying aspect of someone being "different" is what is leading to a lot of this bullying and suicides.

And parents, hear of this and usually say "ignore" instead of jumping in full force regardless of the teen thinking it may, make it worse. Tough. Its our job as parents to "jump" in whenever our kids are being constantly harassed.

We seriously need to make this movement about parents standing up and stopping "bullying" period.

Thats my 2 cents :)