Monday, September 19, 2011

Today is better

After such a horrific week, I think the fire is smoldering out and I couldn't be happier about that! 

Over the weekend fights broke out between Ash and Daddy again, but this time it was not at all pretty and not at all good.  Ash finally just broke to pieces, cried for hours (which she hasn't done since the break-up) and just let everything out...anger, hurt, guilt, and pain.  I watched over her all night because she was saying how she just wanted to not be here anymore, and the far away look in her eyes told me to be cautious with this.  I kept telling her yes life sucks right now, but I promise it will get better.  You are at the bottom, and the only place left to go is up.

Next day she stayed in her room for most of the day, and I told her she needs to apologize to her father for saying such hurtful things.  I have never seen him so broken hearted and it tore me apart!  I told her that he is not Cliff and would NEVER be Cliff.  She lashed out at her daddy because she couldn't do it to the one it was meant for.  I don't know if hubby understands that it wasn't at him, but when she finally did come out and apologized, they were tight as ever and that just made me so damn happy!

On top of all this, I got sick.  My body doesn't take this kind of stress very well.  I bottle stuff up, but my body has a way of getting it out one way or the other.  I'm finally getting over the hump and then all will be whole once again :)

Life sometimes sucks, but with friends and family who love you, it doesn't suck for long.
thank you guys for being there!!


Maggie said...

Sorry, things were stressful lately. I am glad Ashley finally got it out, but sorry it was towards her dad. :( Hope you start feeling better soon. Prayers for Ashley that she continues, to move forward from this awful break up and finds her happiness again. {{Hugs}}

Brit-Man said...

Well I don't think I really need to say much else, except that you WILL get through this, all of you, because you always had a massive underlying current of support, solidity and human nature to underpin the foundations of your domestic setup and almost nothing will break you apart.

Keep believing and GOOD LUCK.

:-) :-).


Jennifer said...

What a scary and stressful week, no wonder you are sick! You are working overtime on the wife and mother job for sure! Make sure you take a moment to take care of you too!

Hayley said...

Ok I don't have time to write much and I haven't caught up with all of your blog, but I am so sorry you are going through this. At the same time, I am so admirable and impressed by what an amazing mom you are. The fact that you can talk to Ashley about this stuff, not freak out on her, be willing to take her to go on the bcp, take her side, etc. Please don't ever forget how wonderful of a parent you are. Seriously...I wish my mom (as much as I have always loved her then and now) had been more open with me about certain stuff.

I'll read/write more when I can! Hang in there...xoxo

leslie said...

It's been a lone time since I've looked at any blogs. I just now saw this. The hardest thing I've ever done is to not be able to take away my kids' pain. Or to just rewind life ao they don't get hurt. My heart aches for what you all went through. Especially ashley.

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