Monday, September 12, 2011

The Weekend From Hell!

I am so glad it's Monday and the weekend is OVER!

Friday was our town big football game.  Two high school rivals battling it out in a fun town game.  Who's going to get the bragging rights and trophy?  Even a local news station was at Ashley's school filming the rally (7am).  Yep, this sold-out game (sold out in 2 1/2 hrs) was the talk of the town and we had tickets and couldn't wait!

Got to the game, JV lost and it was so damn hot outside!  Hubby got to the game just in time to see the Varsity game start.  Ashley is there with her girlfriends and her boyfriend Cliff came with his friend (who goes to our school).  All is going great!  We are kicking the other schools butt.  Half time was fun to watch.  Coming down now to the end of the fourth quarter and I get a text..."Mom I need you"  Shit!  What happened?  I text back to come to where I am..."No!  meet me by the entrance"  I went, Ash is in tears, her girls around her.  I get the story of what happened...Cliff went psycho and looked like he was going to hit her friend!  He and Ash were yelling at each other saying "fuck you" to one another...Ash told him to get away from her and he didn't...Ash said it again and nothing...this time a long time friend got in Cliffs face and said, "I believe she asked you to leave" so Cliff walked away.  When he came back to apologize, but wanted to take Ash by herself, her friend got in his face and told him no way was she leaving Ash alone with him!  That's when he got so angry that his fists clenched and he got in her face...three guys asked if everything was alright or were they going to have to kick his ass?  A girl went to a teacher and told her she's scared that Cliff was going to hit someone. 
~As the girls are telling me this story, Cliff tries to come over and I looked at him, pointed my arm and finger straight out and said "get the fuck away NOW!"  He did, but then tried calling Ashley.  he's sorry, please talk to him...I text him back and told him to stay away, stop calling her, and don't text her!  Hubby came down to see what was going on...we filled him in. 
~Game is over, we won.  Missed the trophy celebration and the final touchdowns made by the other team.  Would have been great to see, but shit happens.
~Leaving the game, girls in my arms, hubby behind...we pass Cliff and his friend going towards entrance.  I ignored him, hubby stopped him.  We kept walking...don't want the girls involved anymore in this crap. 
~Hubby told him to not call, text, face book, have any contact with Ash.  Cliff started crying and apologizing over and over again saying he doesn't want to be like his father (who hit his mom the whole time they were married) and he's never seen that side of himself before and doesn't want Ash scared of him, and wasn't towards Ash....too bad, don't contact her.
~That night I get texts from Cliff and I text back so that way I can be sure he stays away from Ash.  He wants to talk face to face with all of us...I said no, but I can meet him.  We met the next day and talked for two hours.  I felt for him, but let him know it's over.  I can not let my daughter be in that kind of abuse.  I told him all about the verbal abuse I know about and that all of her friends tell me things and hate him because of the way he treats her.  He needs to get help and learn how to release his anger in a safe and healthy way.  He begged and pleaded and said how much he loves her...I don't doubt that, it's just when he snaps he isn't aware of what he's capable of doing.  Next time it could be direct contact!  Now people are asking if he's ever hit Ash before!!!
~This has made Ash finally see how toxic and unhealthy this relationship is.  She is done and for the first time I can see that her heart is completely over him.  This was her wake-up call.  I'm glad it's over and glad she was able to get out before something serious happened!

~Last night after work, Ash and hubby got into a huge blow-out!  She's been talking sassy to him all day he said, and after dinner he said something that set her off and told him to stop nagging her all the time!  He raised his voice, told her he's the parent and she will not talk to him like that.  She cried, left the table yelling she hates him and wishes he's just go away.  I couldn't have his back on this one 100% and he got pissed about that.  I told him that she is going through so much right now that I understand her lashing out.  No, it's not okay, but I understand it.  He did not like that at all.  Needless to say, things are still chilly between him and I at this time (yes, he did go to work, but he hasnt' text back or anything).  I know this will blow over, but holy hell am I tired!!!

So, that was MY was YOURS ;) 


Brit-Man said...

I'll be in touch.

Take care and best wishes :-) :-).


leslie said...

My heart sank when I saw the title of your post. You SO did the right thing. Maybe what happened here will be the wake-up call Cliff needs to get professional help so he doesn't turn into a carbon copy of his father. But your daughter does not need to be anywhere near him.

(gotta take kid to rehearsal -- many more thoughts, but no time -- sending hugs)

Maggie said...

I got chills reading this. Am I correct in reading, he has treated Ashley bad before? I think you did the right thing and I also agree about Ashley lashing out. I think Ashley and her dad will work it out. This is what makes a father daughter relationship grow even stronger. When they can work it out, without Mom always having to referee or mend things. I've been in that position so many times, and because of it, kept my daughters from bonding with their father.
I really hope Cliff stays away. This is scary when you read about HS relationships gone bad and how the ex won't let go. Keep an eye on the situation. You might even need to call school if he doesn't stay away. Prayers and thoughts for you my friend. Hope you have a wonderful week.